


You Whom I Could Not Save, Listen To Me

by ssstrychnine



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:56:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssstrychnine/pseuds/ssstrychnine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>angsty drabble after Jaime dies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Whom I Could Not Save, Listen To Me

I like to hope that you would not blame me. That you would laugh and say it was not surprising I found myself caught between two oaths. That I would always choose an innocent before you. But I didn't choose anyone before you, I could not. I asked you to pick me for your champion. But you wouldn't and she did and now look. I don't blame _you_.

She died too, later.

You were buried at Casterly Rock and before your sister was caught she refused to allow me there but perhaps your brother will. I should like to give you back Oathkeeper.

I wept an ocean, I don't think that would surprise you.

When I sleep you are all of my dreams. I am grateful for you keep the worst of the nightmares away. I am angry for you always seem so real before I wake. They called me Kingslayer's whore but I should like better to be your wench again. Your sister thinks the same, they say she speaks only three names now, underground in irons, and they are yours and mine and Margaery Tyrell’s. I am in grand company.

If you were alive still I might be brave enough now to touch you. I might make rumours into truth. Would you love me? I think of it often and have no answer. I am not Cersei. You are not Renly either but I do not doubt I loved you. Love you.

I found Sansa Stark with her hands stained with Petyr Baelish's blood. She called him father once, after, and looked so stricken I thought she might faint. It probably would not surprise you to learn I kept both my oaths. Kept my word for a Lannister _and_ a Stark. It surprises me every moment.

I am lady of Tarth now and expected to marry. When I think of that I wonder that it might bring you back, the force of my fear. I think of you coming back to me like she did, with Oathkeeper still stuck through your chest and your eyes cold as glass and my tears still wet on your face.

Don't, Jaime. Stay buried with my love and I will keep what I imagine is yours buried in me.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the poem Dedication by Czeslaw Milosz


End file.
